Hardball

Tuesday, April 13

9:15 pm

I had an early morning OT session with Lori because eating breakfast was part of my therapy today. I sat in my wheelchair at a table in my room, and Lori fitted me with a wrist brace (which keeps my wrist from flopping over) and adaptive silverware that fits around my hand (so that I don’t have to grasp it tightly with my fingers). With the help of the brace and silverware, I was pleased with how I ate—as long as I could stab it with a fork. When it came to scooping food, I was less successful.

After I ate breakfast, we went downstairs to the gym and sat at a table. On the table, Lori placed a device that was like a computerized board, less than an inch high, with shallow holes of different shapes—circle, square, and triangle. Pretty much like this child’s toy:

Except my board was about four times larger and computerized, with plastic blocks. I worked with one hand at a time. The computer instructed me which shape to pick up and lit up the hole in which I was to place it. It would time me as I worked, and when I put the right block into the correct hole the computer would score me. If I was too slow, it told me again to pick up the block. That was annoying, it’s not like I’m not trying, you stupid—

In the end, I was reasonably pleased with my success. After I did my left hand first, Lori asked me what grade I would give myself and I said B+. There were times I couldn’t get the block aligned with the right shape, but I would re-grasp and get it in the hole. My grip remains relatively weak; I’m still surprised that I can’t grab things more strongly. I would grab a piece and it would slip out of my grip, so I’d have to grab it at a different angle. But I managed to do it, usually without cheating by using my other hand (although I did cheat more while doing the exercise with my right hand, as my left hand is still stronger).

With the exception of walking, which I work on with PT every day, my therapy changes from day to day. Each day, OT throws a new challenge at me. In a way, I feel like I’ve never succeeded because every time I do something hard they give me something harder. So by the end of the day I’ve failed at whatever they’ve given me. Lori did admit this to me today. It can be frustrating. I hope that at some point we will go back to previously attempted challenges so I can see some large measure of improvement, but I don’t know if we will.

Back in my room after OT, I got back into bed, exhausted, and my whole team (Dr. Miller, case worker, PT, OT, psychologist, and recreational therapist) gathered for the weekly “rounds.” Linda dialed in for it, too. They essentially said, “You’re doing very well,” and that was about it. I told them that I find my wheelchair extremely annoying right now, because the right arm rest is higher than the left. Imagine sitting in a chair with uneven arms. It’s just not right! So Brian is trying to get me time with the wheelchair specialist to get that fixed soon.

In the afternoon, I had PT with Brian, as well as Zane, who did my initial diagnostic the first day I was here. Zane, it turns out, is not a tech but a specialist. Today, he evaluated my walking to make sure my therapists were doing the right things regarding the electrical stimulation and weight support. I walked 40 feet up and back twice before I sat down. That’s the longest I’ve walked since I got here, and I felt like my gait was much better today. I wasn’t dragging my toe nearly as much.

I was very tired from my session with PT when the recreational therapist Jasmine came over with a man named Jared in a wheelchair, probably in his late 30s, who works for a sports company for individuals with disabilities. Jared told me that they have all kinds of teams and competitions, and he told me about the different kinds of recumbent and adaptive bikes they have available. And he plays in a wheelchair rugby league!

Jasmine gave me a choice between playing bocce and cornhole today, and I chose bocce. We played with leather balls that were slightly larger than baseballs, firm enough to roll but not hard. (The long-suffering Christine notes the extra editorial work required to compose an appropriate description here, after proposed descriptions included “soft yet firm balls,” “balls that cupped nicely in your hands,” and “giant balls that yielded slightly to the touch.”)

While standing in the harness, I discovered that I could throw fairly well with my left hand. A few of my throws spun out, but overall I was pleased. Jared and I played a two-round game. (I stood for the whole practice round, but during the following rounds I had to sit down when it wasn’t my turn.) After the first round, I was ahead 1–0. In the second round, Jared tied the game with his first ball, and I was unable to get one any closer. I accused Josh of being a ringer when he put his remaining three balls closer to the pallina (target ball), beating me 4–1. Even though he beat me, I had fun playing the game.