Quadriplegia? I don't know her.

Sunday, May 9

9:00 pm

Youngest daughter Christine here again. While my tireless hero of a mom spent the week in New Jersey helping Lauren with her little ones, I spent the week in Charlottesville with my dad. I want to offer a third-party perspective on his progress—which is, in a word, astounding.

I was fortunate to be able to spend the first eight days after the accident visiting my dad in the NNICU and NIMU at UVA hospital, because they had a two-visitor policy. But once he was transferred to SAI, only my mom was allowed to visit him, so I didn’t see him for four weeks. Even after watching his rapid and promising recovery during that first week, I did not dare imagine that he would come as far as he has in the intervening month.

The biggest difference, in my view, is in his hands, which we were told would take the longest to regain function (if ever). The last time I saw my dad, he could barely lift his arms, and he could not move his hands at all. This week, he consistently ate his meals with normal silverware and plates (no more adaptive ones!) and drank from normal cups and wine glasses; completed tasks such as making tea, rinsing dishes, emptying most of the dishwasher, and vacuuming; signed his name on a check and a Mother’s Day card (shakily, but the handwriting is still clearly his); and was able to deal playing cards (before kicking my butt at gin), play bananagrams (kicked my butt at that, too), and play short-distance cornhole (yes, the butt-kicking continued).

Dealing cards (shuffling is still tricky).

Enjoying dinner outside—with wine!

Every day, I walked with him around the cul-de-sac, and each day he walked a little further and a little faster. On Tuesday, he walked for about 27 minutes, with a three-minute break in the middle. On Saturday, he walked for 31 minutes without a break, and he went 60% further and over a greater incline. He still uses his wheelchair most of the time around the house, as fatigue continues to be an issue, but at this rate that will not be the case for very long.

He still does many things in a slow and clunky way, but he is able to do them, and his fine motor skills continue to improve. He is motivated to get back to woodworking in his basement shop again, and as a result of his hard work he will soon be able to do so. (Mere weeks ago, I wondered if he would ever be able to do woodworking again!) To that end, he purchased special push blocks to allow him to work safely with a table saw—not adaptive equipment but safety tools he probably should have purchased years ago. This morning, he put together one of the push blocks on his own, which involved many little pieces and screws. He says it took him an hour to complete; I think would have taken me nearly as long.

This week, I also took him to an OT and a PT appointment and was able to watch both. During OT, he hand-pedaled the stim bike for 10 minutes then did several exercises with a resistance band and one- and four-pound weights.

He then practiced picking up and dropping little blocks with clips of varied tension.

During PT, he first walked on a treadmill for 15 minutes, starting at 1.8 mph and working up to a brisk 2.6 mph. He practiced standing from a seated position with one foot on a shallow block and then did several core exercises, including holding a full plank(!) for five sets of 20 seconds.

The session ended with some footwork, including a grapevine. His therapist Maggie commented that she wouldn’t do that one without support yet.

Today, he decided to show off his walking on his own. His gait has visibly improved even just in the last few days. Check him out!

I do not want to downplay how serious his injury is, how difficult many things still are, or how far he still has to go in his recovery. But I think it is fair to say that my dad is no longer really paralyzed. He is impaired, yes, in all his limbs—but his sensation and function have largely returned and continue to recover. He has a lot of work left to do to improve his coordination and build back his muscle, but I know he will keep doing that work. I saw his determination in the way he did his PT and OT exercises on his own at home every day.

He told me this week that, if his nerve function stopped improving tomorrow, he’s at the point where he’d be okay with that, because he would still be able to do most of the things he’d like to with what he has regained thus far. But I have immense hope that the remaining numbness in his toes will subside, the pain in his neck and shoulders will fade, and his fine motor skills will return. Recovery from a spinal cord injury is spoken of in terms of months, with the greatest emphasis on the first year after the injury—and it has only been six weeks.

Thank you to all of you who have been in his corner these six weeks and who have offered love and support to him and to my mom. Truly, it takes a village.

I can’t wait to see what more he can do when I see him again a few days from now!